so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
