what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
