Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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