I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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