Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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