member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
