Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
