Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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