Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
