OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
