Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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