do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
