my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I want her autograph on my taint
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
