idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
