Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
