Non-Jews are for practice
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
