Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
