Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She bit a glass in half.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
