you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
