oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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