my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
