Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
