I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize