What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
