i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
