they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
