VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
