i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just high enough for therapy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
