Your mouth is God's brothel.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
