don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
