Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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