You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
