I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
