Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
