im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I currently don't understand fingers.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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