like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
