Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
