D3 body, D1 cock
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
