Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
