just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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