She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
