four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
