I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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