god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So vagazzling was a success
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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