I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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