So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize