Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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