it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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