he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
