If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
