Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
