she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
