is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
