what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
