dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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